The decision to have a family is usually a monumental one. But no matter how much we prepare ourselves, motherhood can still come as a shock. It is not uncommon to feel overwhelmed by the level of responsibility and the need to get it right. This often leads to mums and mumpreneurs feeling guilty if everything is not perfect. Because we recognise the importance of raising children, it doesn’t matter whether we have perfectionism tendencies or not. Mum guilt catches us all at some point. The end result is usually a lot of mind noise about whether we’re a good parent or not. That’s why, today, we’re discussing how you can overcome mum guilt, so you can quieten the mind chatter and doubts.
The Role Of Perfectionism
Mum guilt comes down to us feeling as though we are not living up to an arbitrary standard in some way. It is a form of perfectionism, and it is a common trap that many of us fall into. But the problem with perfectionism is that it sets impossibly high standards for us and others, and when we inevitably fall short, it leads to feelings of failure and self-doubt. As a result, our minds become cluttered with negative thoughts and emotions, making it difficult to focus on what truly matters.
It's important to recognise that perfectionism is a mental trap. It's not a reflection of our abilities or worth as individuals. We all make mistakes, and that's okay. In fact, it's necessary for growth and learning. By accepting that failure is a natural part of life, we can let go of the need for perfection and give ourselves permission to be human. And yes, this includes in motherhood!
Mum guilt is often the result of societal pressure to be a perfect mother. We are bombarded with images of other mothers who seem to have it all together, and this can make us feel like we are not doing enough.
We discussed in our last blog post how reducing your use of social media can help with this. However, it is also important to remember that no one is perfect and that it is okay to make mistakes. Recognising the fact that being a ‘perfect’ mum is an unrealistic standard and learning to let go of it can help to reduce feelings of guilt. Remember good is good enough!
But how can you let go? One of the most effective ways is to return to your own personal goals which you set at the beginning of the year when we discussed living intentionally. Societal pressure and standards are outside forces. These are often unrelated to what you want for you and your family.
Remind yourself what it is you want to achieve and the small steps you can take towards those goals. Every time you feel the pressure to conform or to achieve an impossible standard, consider what it will achieve. Does it take you any closer to the future you’re striving to achieve? Will it ultimately, have a positive impact on the outcome you want? If not, let it go and instead tune into those internal forces.
Remember, mum guilt is toxic and can fill your brain with an awful lot of negative mind chatter. Focus instead, on doing the best you can (because that is all any of us can do), and the realistic, small steps you need to take towards your future life. If you need support in overcoming any obstacles in your way, we can help. Get in touch to find out more.
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Empowering Mums is on a mission to empower a million mums and mumpreneurs just like you with greater confidence, balance and clarity to activate your infinite capabilities within! Enabling you to enjoy an easier, happier life alongside running a highly successful business. Aligned with enjoying time out for an essential self-care routine that fulfils your own needs and delight in quality time spent with your children being the mum you really want to be!
For further support please contact Empowering Mums today on 01606 334 015, alternatively visit our website at www.empoweringmums.com for more information.
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