We’d all love to feel at peace. But we’re not all willing to do what’s needed to get it. Sometimes it involves letting go of something that we desperately want to cling on to. While it can be incredibly difficult to loosen our grip, letting go in this way can be life changing. Many of those who have done it identify it as a defining moment. Read on to discover why letting go of control can help you find your inner peace.
Our Inner Control Freak
We’ve all got a bit of a control freak inside of us, it’s only natural. It normally stems from one of two things:
We want to control what’s happening in our lives so that we can plan and prepare for the future and know what to expect. It makes us feel far more comfortable, at ease.
But the truth is that we can’t control, predict or know what will happen in the future and trying to control it, will inevitably prevent us from finding inner peace.
What You Really Control
Many people struggle to recognise that the only thing you can control is yourself – the way you behave, think, feel and react. You can never really control someone else, however hard you might try.
Children are a perfect example. You know that time when your child had the biggest meltdown in the middle of the supermarket and EVERYONE stared at you like you were the worst mother ever?
There was nothing you could have really done about that tantrum.
You could control how you spoke to your child, what you were doing beforehand, how you responded during the tantrum, how you felt when everyone was staring at you.
But the decision to have that tantrum and when to stop was always your child’s – that was beyond your control.
It’s likely that you’ve spent a few hours thinking about that incident and tying yourself in knots trying to work out how you could have controlled your child better.
However, the only way to really find inner peace is to accept and surrender to the fact that you can’t control others, only yourself. You don’t have control over how the other adults respond in the supermarket but you do have control over how you respond to them.
Finding inner peace involves changing the way you think. You have to focus on your own actions and responses rather than wishing someone else behaved differently. For example, it’s not uncommon for couples to silently wish that their partner would behave or act in a certain way that they believe would strengthen the relationship.
But you’re never going to find inner peace if you’re always relying on someone else behaving in a certain way. You might choose to talk to your partner about an issue but you don’t get to decide how they will respond. Your sense of inner peace has to come from your own actions or you’ll never truly find it.
By letting go of the idea that you can in some way control how others behave, you begin to focus on what you can control – you. And that puts you and only you in control of your own happiness and inner peace.
It’s a hard concept to put into action but it’s one that many have found the most liberating and it will move you much closer to inner peace.
What could you change in your life at the moment simply by being mindful of what you can and can’t control?
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