There can be a general assumption that women aren’t naturally confident, that it’s something most of us have to ‘grow’ into. If you feel this way you could be forgiven for holding onto the belief that confidence is something to be worked on. A quick scan of your favourite Disney films – or most films with female characters will show that for almost all female leads, confidence or bravery comes about as a result of facing a fear. To a degree there is some truth in the fact that confidence grows after taking action but this is only part of the story.
We are all born with unshakable confidence. It’s what allows us to explore the big wide world around us, master the art of walking and assert our authority by learning how to say ‘no’ to everything we don’t like or our parents tell us to do. We didn’t always lack confidence.
Perhaps you’ve fallen for the fables that your journey back to confidence has to be a long one. It doesn’t. Sometimes confidence is just about making a decision and acting on it even when we’re scared or have no control of the outcome of our actions. We’ve all seen Beyoncé on stage, in control, carrying herself with an air of confidence that seems limited only to goddesses. We know women can be outrageously confident.
Now, maybe Beyoncé is a goddess, but her unshakeable confidence isn’t reserved just for those of celeb status. You can have it too.
With 85-90% of our daily thoughts being negative, based around fear to protect us, it’s no wonder that achieving our greatest dreams may feel out of reach. We must remember that thoughts are just thoughts and can be changed. A great way of creating more positive thoughts is through gratitude. There is nothing like reminding yourself daily of the things in your life and about yourself that are amazing to put an extra bounce in your step. It’s a great way to start the day.
Knowing what you want is key to getting past the mind gremlins. What do you want? Why is it worth pursuing in spite of your fears and doubts?
Disney did get something right, the need to step outside our comfort zone. Learning to push ourselves to do things that feel uncomfortable is a great way to increase confidence. As a wise person once said, “The comfort zone is a great place but nothing ever grows there”.
Prepare for success; Beyonce has admitted to spending hours perfecting routines and songs for her performances. Is it any wonder she can perform with the confidence she does? The more prepared you feel for something the more confident you will feel about it.
Surround yourself with cheerleaders; sometimes borrowing confidence from others while you find your own can really help. Being around people who are positive and believe in you, even when you don’t can give a real boost.
When you believe in yourself, others will too. Empower yourself by adopting the behaviours of and carrying yourself like a confident person would. People will quickly take notice and respond accordingly.
Because you’re getting positive, encouraging feedback and thinking more highly of yourself, conversation will flow and you’ll have better interactions.
By acting like a person of worth, you start to genuinely value yourself. You’ll find that the inner confidence that comes from this will attract happy positive people into your space.
The impact on your children will be amazing. Children learn far more about life from what we do than what we say. Showing up as your confident self will encourage your children to do the same.
Actress and writer, Mindy Kaling, asserts that confidence is entitlement. Entitlement is the belief that you deserve something. It’s not enough to simply believe you deserve something; you’ve got to put yourself and your desires forward, as if you had a right to them – or at least the same right as anyone else.
Some people aren’t going to love the way you carry yourself. The truth is that some people feel uncomfortable being around someone who is confident. That is not your problem.
Remember why you’re doing this, remind yourself of how wonderful you are, remember that you can do anything and shine on regardless.
Start your journey today – achieve confidence, balance and clarity for an easier, happier life!
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