If you receive our newsletter, you may have noticed the empowering quote from Dale Carnegie: “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit at home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”
I know that many mums will think that they need to build their confidence first, before they start taking action whereas the truth is the two come hand in hand. The more action you take, the more confidence you will gain. This blog post will show you three ways that you can start taking action even when your confidence is at rock bottom.
1. Count To 3
As soon as you have the idea to do something, starting counting. By the time you get to three you must move into action. Okay, it doesn’t have to be three. You may have heard of Mel Robbins “5 second rule”. It’s the same principle. However, the longer you leave it the more likely you are to stall.
You will know that every time you go to make a change or take action, your inner voice pops up - the self talk that whispers all those doubts to you. It tells you things such as, “You best not do that, you might look foolish”, “There’s no point doing that, you’ll never stick at it” or, “There’s nothing wrong with the way you do things now, you’re overthinking it.” We’ll talk more about why it does this shortly but for now focus on moving into action before that voice gets started. Count to three and act!
2. Acknowledge The Fear
So, why does that little voice talk you out of things? Because you’re scared of something. Your ego is designed to keep you safe which means protecting you from the things you fear. That fear can be on a subconscious level but your ego knows it’s there and springs into action, determined to be the hero.
That’s why it’s important for you to acknowledge the fear rather than just trying to ignore it. Otherwise, that voice will just try harder to rescue you - the voice will start shouting at you and finding more reasons for you to keep the status quo.
To move forward, you need to identify the fear that’s holding you back. Some common ones are fears of failure, success, not being good enough and judgement. Once you know what it is, you can acknowledge the fear and recognise all those reasons to not do something as the excuses they really are.
Show respect to your fears and then continue anyway.
3. One Step At A Time
If you feel frozen with fear it can be difficult to make any changes or move forward at all. When you feel like this it helps to break things down into tiny steps. It’s getting the balance between stepping out of your comfort zone and being in the danger zone where you enter the flight, fright or freeze responses.
Sometimes, you just need to take things slowly. If there’s something in particular that you want to do, what’s the very first step towards that? Keep repeating this step until it becomes part of your comfort zone and then move on to the next one.
It’s a slower process but you get there in your own time. As you begin to take more steps you’ll also find that your danger zone shrinks, leaving you more able to take bigger steps in the future.
In our next blog post, we’ll be looking at how to grow your own self worth. It’s another important aspect of moving towards confident and authentic action. For now, let me know which of these three ideas you will be trying.
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